life's funny that way

I AM MOVING!!!

2009-05-14T22:48:00.000+08:00

hello guys...
i've been so quiet lately...
it's not like i m mia, but i just can't open blogger dashboard!
so, i said to myself - why don't i create a new blog?
so here's my new blog:

http://lifeisfunnythatway.wordpress.com/

The Return

2009-02-23T13:48:00.001+08:00

I felt strange going back to school after my long sick leave. It’s kind of feels like de ja’ vu, where I feel like I’ve done that task, or this task. Wait a minute, I did! Everything, well, almost everything feels the same, but not the same anymore. I got new classmates and some new lecturers also, thank God. It’s hard explaining to the lecturer why I had to start all over again.

Do I regret coming back? Sometimes I do, when everything feels so overwhelming, but then, what am I going to do with my life if I don’t resume my training? Sometimes, when I’m overwhelmed, I feel like I am trapped in this profession. It’s like a princess bound by a spell. I think I’ve been reading too much fairy tales! I should grow up…thoughts keep rushing through my head. Am I going to be a good teacher? Or will I settle being mediocre? I don’t have an answer for that. All I could do is pray that I could finish my teacher training. That is what I pray for each time.

Life back in campus is more hectic than I remember. The lecturers seem to demand more from us the trainees. I know that there are reasons for this, but come on, we are human beings, not robots. Rushing to get from one place to another, eating on the run… this is taxing on my soul. I don’t have time anymore to write on my blogs. At night, I fell into bed, tired to the bones. I know that I had to manage my time wisely, but sometimes I feel like I am juggling elephants, which I know is impossible. I hope that I could find a middle ground – where I could do my academic tasks and still could be involved in the co-curriculum. Insya Allah, God willing, I should be able to.

EURO 2008

2008-06-16T21:15:00.000+08:00

I don’t claim to be an expert in football, but I am a fan. Unfortunately, I am unable to watch all the matches since I am bogged down by assignments. My only consolation is that, there will be another EURO in 4 years’ time. Hopefully, I already have a big screen tv by that time so that I can watch all the actions. And I forget, also have to have Astro. Huhuuh… just finished part of my Girl Guide log book. Can u believe it – me, Girl Guide? Heheheheh… miracles, guys….

Anyways, I won’t waste my time complaining about my co-curriculum activities, so I’ll just stop there about that.

Been really busy these past weeks, doing all the assignment that the lecturer thought we should do. I mean, come on la… it’s holiday. Let us have fun… well, I did have fun, only to suffer the consequences now!!! All those work, and so little time to do it, since I wasted my time on enjoying myself during the holiday.

Well, no use complaining – as they say, no use crying over spilled milk. I should focus on my assignments… gotta go now…

TIME? (Part 2)

2008-06-07T19:42:00.000+08:00

I woke up late today because last night I slept late. I was reading up the materials for my lesson plan. So here I am today - staring at the screen of my laptop. My heart wants to watch another episode of Grey’s Anatomy, but my mind is screaming for me to finish up my ELT lesson plan. I know I should listen to m logic, but… there’s always a but. Why can’t I change? I should not procrastinate.

I should do my lesson plan. So here I go…

TTFN (Ta ta for now)

Hard at work (really?),

WR,
Marang,
1353
7th June 2008

TIME...

2008-06-07T19:40:00.000+08:00

“There’s a saying that goes – time waits for no man… Time flies. All any of us wants is more time. Time to stand up. Time to grow up. Time to let go. Time…” Grey’s Anatomy ( Season 3 Episode 1)

The quote above really made me think. I am 27 years old (actually 26 going on 27….), but am I acting my age? Am I mature enough for my age? Well, to be honest, sometimes I could be childish… emmmm…

But I should bear in mind that as the saying above goes – time waits for no man… I should learn to use my time wisely. One of my glaring faults is that I am a procrastinator. I always wait for the last minute to do things that I have to do. And I know that I should do earlier, but I usually don’t. Like my English Language Lesson Plan. I have to finish it in my holiday, and it’s been more than 2 weeks, but I only managed to do the cover and the format. That’s it. Nothing concrete to show me what I had done during my holiday. What is wrong with me? All those experiences that I had – isn’t it more than enough to tell me to stop procrastinating? Well, starting from now, I won’t procrastinate anymore – whether in my life or professionally speaking. Not to say that I would do something without any thinking, but I would try to eliminate the procrastinating….

I should go to bed. Time enough to do my work tomorrow. Well, here I go again, damn it!

Hope to stop procrastinating,
Ani
0024
7th June 2008
(Yeay, Euro is here….)

PART 2

2008-06-05T15:20:00.003+08:00

Harga minyak sepanjang zaman.. (dalam masa 18 tahun - sejak 1990)

zaman Mahathir
sebelum 90 - RM 0.89
tahun 1990 - RM 1.10 (kenaikan RM 0.21)
01/10/2000 - RM 1.20 ( kenaikan RM 0.10)
20/10/2001 - RM 1.30 (kenaikan RM 0.10)
01/05/2002 - RM 1.32 ( kenaikan RM 0.02)
31/10/2002 - RM 1.33 (kenaikan RM 0.01)
01/03/2003 - RM 1.35 ( kenaikan RM 0.02)

zaman Pak Lah01/05/2004 - RM 1.37 (kenaikan RM 0.02)
01/10/2004 - RM 1.42 ( kenaikan RM 0.05)
05/05/2005 - RM 1.52 (kenaikan RM 0.10)
31/07/2005 - RM 1.62 ( kenaikan RM 0.10)
28/02/2006 - RM 1.92 (kenaikan RM 0.30)
05/06/2008 - RM 2.70 (kenaikan RM 0.78)

Nota :

(Skrip dulu-dulu)

1. Kenaikan minyak masih rendah berbanding mana2 pun negara ASEAN.
2. Kerajaan akan pastikan kenaikan tidak membebankan
3. Kerajaan tidak mampu lagi menampung subsidi.
4. Kerajaan memberi jaminan harga runcit petroleum tidak akan dinaikkan lagi pada TAHUN INI.

(Skrip sekarang dan akan datang)

1. Rakyat mestilah mengamalkan hidup jimat cermat.
2. Kita akan memastikan harga bahan api antara yg terendah dirantau ini berbanding Singapura dan Thailand.
3. Bila kita susah, kenalah sama-sama susah, bila masa senang, 'kita saling membantu'.
4. Penjimatan subsidi RM13.7 billion 'dipulangkan balik pada rakyat'.
5. Langkah ini adalah 'situasi menang-menang'

Something to think about....

2008-06-05T15:16:00.001+08:00

Quick Info

Comparison of the Our Oil price with other OIL PRODUCING countries

UAE– RM1.19/litre
Eygpt– RM1.03/litre
Bahrain– RM0.87/litre
Qatar– RM0.68/litre
Kuwait– RM0.67/litre
Saudi Arabia– RM0.38/litre
Iran– RM0.35/litre
Nigeria– RM0.32/litre
Turkmenistan– RM0.25/litre
Venezuela– RM0.16/litre
MALAYSIA– RM2.70/litre

Cliché’…

2008-06-05T08:52:00.001+08:00

It’s been a long while since I watch television. And the sometimes news that I managed to watch at the café doesn’t count. So when I had the chance to do so, I was ecstatic. But no more, dear readers… It took me just two hours of watching uninterrupted television that made me realize something. I hated it. The Malay dramas, the Indonesian dramas, even the Cantonese dramas… all of them are about the same theme. Good guy meets good girls, then bad girls/guys interrupt their relationships, and then how they overcome the evil, and they live happily ever after. Come on, aren’t we in the twenty first century already? Why couldn’t the television show a more meaningful program? The only series that I could watch without gagging is Sindarella, but unfortunately it is aired once a week, one hour per slot.

The Tv3 is already 24 years old, but it still shows the same old drama. And the programs for 3.30 pm is laughable… I find myself watching them yesterday – Puteri Tidur dan 3 Peri-peri. I mean, come on. I understood why the Indonesian producer produced the badly reproduction of the fairy tale – but what I couldn’t understand is why Tv3 is airing this kind of bull shit in the television? To what purpose does this kind of program contributes towards building the young minds? I know it is school holiday. But why should they air that kind of program? Why couldn’t they show a national geographic documentary to educate the young minds?

Why? That’s the question that the young should be asking. Why is the petrol subsidy being withdrawn? Why? To what purpose does it serves? Well, I know that I digress…But the news just gets to me. I mean, who am I to question the government? What do I know, right? I’m just an ordinary teacher trainee… so who am I to compare with the PM? Ooopsss… syyyy… I shouldn’t write more, I think, because maybe I would be restrained under the ISA. I know KJ is promoting freedom of the press – but we should be careful of whatever he suggested. Maybe he has some hidden intention. Ooopppsss… I think I should stop here, because you never know who else might be reading…

Our Deepest Fears

2008-06-05T08:50:00.000+08:00

What do we humans are more scared of? Failures? Being ridiculed? Dying? Being alone? Ghouls and ghosts? Bankruptcy?

Whatever it is, I think there is no such thing as a fearless human. Even the fiercest of warriors are scared of something. I am sure even the current USA president is scared of something… whatever our fear is, we are much more afraid that somebody else knows our weakness. I for one don’t want others to know my fears, because then, I am afraid that they would manipulate me using that flaw.

I once read a really moving poem about fear. Below I have included the poem. Hope that y’all would enjoy the poem as much as I do. I do hope that we all could conquer our fear – as they say that in fear factor “fear is not a factor…”

Our deepest fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure
It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us most
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, famous, and fabulous?
Actually who are you not to be?
You playing small don’t serve the world
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you
As we let our own light shine
We unconsciously give others permission to do the same
As we are liberated from our own fears
Our presence automatically liberates others…

No Air

2008-06-05T08:48:00.004+08:00

I am currently listening to Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown – No Air. And at the same time, I am sighing over my homework… aargh…. This is what I get for procrastinating. You name the homework, I got it. I wonder what I had been doing before this. Too busy doing what? Well, as they say, no use complaining. I got to get down to work. As the wise men used to say – the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.

And move on, Ani. He is already taken. Soon, he’ll be getting engaged. So, you and him are never going to work out. He’s not meant for you. Just pray for his happiness. And yours. Move along, babe!

Sad but not suffering,
Ani,
Kampung Losong Masjid
11.51 am
1st June 2008

No Air

2008-06-05T08:48:00.003+08:00

Ever after - My Girl….

2008-06-05T08:43:00.000+08:00

I am currently watching My Girl – a Korean drama which is very funny and entertaining. I laughed my head off watching this drama. Hahahahaha…. And the hero is so adorable…heehehhe… I think I am in love with him. The heroin is soooo cute.

Unfortunately I only burned the cd until the 8th one. I have to wait until school break’s over to watch the continuity of the drama. But of course la the ending of the series is that they live happily ever after.

If only life was that simple. If only… why does life is not like in the Korean drama? Why won’t the one I like reciprocate my feelings? Why can’t he like me the way that I like him? I heard he’s getting engaged. The news is heartbreaking… but I have to be strong. I have to move on with my life.

“Bila berdekatan tak terasa.
Bila berjauhan kita merana.
Ini memang lumrah manusia,
tak siapa dapat berkata apa…”

Lastly, here’s another quote:

God, life is loneliness, despite all the shrill tinsel gaiety of parties with no purpose, despite the false grinning face that we all wear… and when at last you find someone you can pour your soul, you stop in shock at what the words you utter – they’re so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and fable from being kept in the small cramped dark space inside you so long. Yes, there is joy, fulfillment and companionship, but the loneliness of the soul in its appalling self-consciousness is horrible and overpowering.

Of Fear and Anxieties…

2008-05-26T10:21:00.001+08:00

Some tips that I read up from a newspaper article:

How to eliminate fears:

1. Supplications and prayers
Every religion advocates its followers to seek help through supplications and prayers. Remember certain things, events and challenges may be difficult and even impossible for us but there is nothing difficult and impossible for God. As such, we must pray to God to grant us what is missing in our lives and remove the difficulties, anxieties and troubles. Just try it and you will see happiness and easiness in your life.

2. Nip worrisome thoughts in the bud
As soon as you feel a cycle of worrying thoughts creeping into your mind, get rid of them instantly. A friend of mine told me that whenever negative or worrisome thoughts occur to him, he immediately say aloud, “Cancel,” commanding him to stop concentrating on these pessimistic thoughts. Another solution will be to get physically active or change the activity you are doing. For instance, if you are sitting and doing something, get up and do something physical work. This may be as simple as organizing your closet or taking out trash… etc. Or start exercising or go for a walk.

3. Let GO and Let GOD
Famous motivational speaker Zig Ziglar writes in one of his books, “Let go and Let God”. The basic philosophy about let go and let God is to have unflinching trust in God that when everything fails, we must leave it to God to solve our problems and challenges. We must have a strong trust in God and an unflinching belief that God always work in your best interest. God always provides solution, a way out, and a relief for our problems, we only need to trust Him. The solution or relief does not merely come after the difficulty but in fact it is provided with every problem and worry which inflicts us.

4. PATIENCE
Patience also gives us the necessary ammunition to overcome our fears and worries. Being patient gives us control in situations where we feel we have little or no control. “We cannot control what happens to us, but we can control our reactions to our circumstances” is the mantra of many modern self-help books and motivational gurus. Patience helps us keep our mind and attitude towards our difficulties in check.

5. Get in TOUCH with Others
When confronted with depressing circumstances, get in touch with people near and dear to you. Talk to your mother, father, wife, husband, brother, sister, friends and other people who can listen to you and guide you. Personally whenever I face problems I get in touch with you in touch with my mother and just by talking to her, I feel happy and empowered. My mother is not a psychologist, rather she is not even educated and cannot read and write but hearing her kind words gives me the strength and happiness. It is so therapeutic to hear when she tells me that she is always praying for my happiness. I also always discuss my problems and worries with my wife and daughters and each time I talk to them I feel really relieved.

6. Be GRATEFUL
We should always count our blessings and what we have and not what we lack or do not have. When you open your eyes in the morning think of the bounties of God which has been bestowed on you. At the very minimum think of the good health you may be enjoying. Say it aloud Thank you God for letting me having such and such and you will really feel happy and confident.

7. HELP Others
Lastly, if you wish your fears and anxieties to disappear helps others and love humanities. I remember during my childhood my mother will always give away food to poor people, even snatching it from us while we were still eating. Generosity, helping others and sharing your bounties with others can make you happier. If nothing else, share your smile, service and good attitude with others and you will be pleasantly surprised how happy it can make you feel.

Every one of us at some time of our lives is afflicted with fear and anxiety. Occasionally becoming fearful and worried is natural as a it is a survival mechanism, and usually occurs in response to a specific negative stimulus. However, if we fear most of the time and without obvious reasons then we may be suffering from unnecessary fear which needs immediate attention and cure. The good news is that almost anyone of us can overcome our fears. Let the remedies here make you a fearless and happy person.

Adapted from:

Adalat Khan,
News Straits Times
May 17, 2008

Four Weddings and a Funeral

2008-05-26T10:19:00.000+08:00

First day at home… went to a wedding early in the morning. My neighbor cum second cousin got married. His name is Nazmi. And guess what his wife’s name? Che Rohani… hahahahha… so funny.

Me and Nazmi, we go long way back since I was in Form One. We were in the same tuition. But I don’t know why, we never became friends. Until after university. ..I worked in KL. But I didn’t have a car. So when I entered IPTB, I didn’t have any transport. He was the one who used to send me to the bus station whenever I have to get back to Penang…. I am thankful for that. He is a nice guy. I wish him all the happiness, either in this world or in the hereafter.
His wife is soooo pretty. She has a pair of charming dimples. Heheheh… I was one of the camera women for the wedding, using other’s camera. My hand phone went dead on me this morning. Huhuhu…

Since the bride lives in Kuala Berang, the buffet was a bit weird to me. Batang keladi? Never taste it, but it was a bit weird… and gulai nangka was also weird. But I am not a picky eater. Besides, I think I should be thankful for the food that I ate, because other people in China and Myanmar might not eat a meal today…

I used to hate weddings. My principle is I don’t do weddings… hehehehehe. I rarely went to my friends’ weddings because I used to despise marriage and what I represent. To me, marriage is a contract made between two people just so that they could have sex on a regular basis. Don’t get me wrong, I admit that marriage is beautiful when we marry the right person, but when it’s to the wrong one, it would mean sheer hell… and it’s true that marriage is a gamble. And I aim to win this gamble. That’s why, I am still waiting for the right person, not necessarily means Mr Right… but compatibility and chemistry are important…

Still waiting but not searching,

Ani
Losong, Kuala Terengganu.

INTEL assignments

2008-05-22T12:45:00.000+08:00

I must say, I’ve been over this over and over again. Don’t do last minute work. Yet, here I am once again. To make matters worse, my group mates, both of them went camping for boy scouts and I am the only one left to finish up our group assignments… I need help here people…

But I know that this is all due to last minute work. If only I had done it sooner… if only la…

No time to whine and regrets… all I have to do is finish up my assignments which is 70% finish. I have to edit certain things and I am ready to submit…

Well, have to get down to work. Sayanora…

Today

2008-05-21T08:48:00.002+08:00

Today is kinda weird. I was supposed to wake up at 5 am to finish my assignments. But because it was cold I didn’t. I roused at 6.19 am and hurriedly went to the bathroom. It took me about 45 minutes to get ready after I showered.

I rushed to the assembly field, but surprisingly, only some people who were there. Great, it was rare for me to be early, but they were late!

Anyway, after the assembly, I climbed the stairs to get to the most upper floor to submit my assignment. The lecturer was not in because he had camping in Kedah. Well, better late than never, right? I was supposed to submit that assignment last week, but due to hectic schedule, I was unable to submit.

Now, I am at the library. Unfortunately, I am now surrounded by people that I despised. Ishk… why can’t they pick another space? This is my space. Leave me alone… I hope that they will get lost, and soon!

Actually, I don't have anything interesting to write. But, due to the fast internet connection, I decided to write down how I felt... hehehehe...so sorry for all the readers cos I know this entry is boring...

Kenapa Melayu hentam Melayu?

2008-05-20T20:55:00.002+08:00

1. Kerana kuasa

2. Kerana tamak haloba

3. Kerana Harta dan Kedudukan

4. Kerana Hasad dengki

5. Kerana Melayu jahil ilmu agama

6. Kerana mengaku Islam tapi tidak beriman

7. Kerana hanya sedikit Melayu yang selalu bersyukur

8. Kerana Melayu memang tak boleh kaya raya. Bila kaya-raya mereka lupa diri.

9. Kerana mereka ketepikan hukum Tuhan.

10. Kerana ada pihak ketiga yang sering melagakan Melayu dan bertepuk tangan bila Melayu bertelagah sesama sendiri. Akhirnya Melayu terus lemah dan mudah bagi mereka untuk terus menguasai ekonomi negara ini.

Actually, I got this 10 reason why Malay backstabbed Malay from a blog, but I can't recall which blog. I seem to be reading them a lot these days, since I believe that mainstream newspapers can't seem to report the truth that transpires.

We need more transparency in our media, please!

I am a loyal fan of Dr M. But when something like the current situation happens - I wonder. Is what happening is for real or are they all are playing a drama? A politic one, but a drama nevertheless. I can accept it if it's Pak Lah, but from DR M? I don't know what to trust anymore... I think I'd better stuck with my assignments.... I shouldn't put much trust in others anymore... Help... Am I becoming a cynic?

Forced???

2008-05-06T11:28:00.001+08:00

I’m back after a short hiatus. Not that I don’t want to write, but I seemed to be so caught up in life and just couldn’t find the time to pen down my thoughts. But yesterday, someone really caused me to feel so angry. In my life there are not much things could irritate me now. But I still hated liars, hypocrites and to be forced.

Imagine this; I am part of a class. But I was forced to buy class dress without any discussion at all. I didn’t know what’s going on until it was too late. She had already bought the dress and was now demanding money from us. I was so pissed off. Luckily, I managed to reign in my temper, or she’s really going to get an earful. I only said – “I don’t have any money.” I thought that was that until she demanded money again. And again I said I didn’t have any money.

It’s was not my wish to buy that dress. I haven’t even look at that dress. I only caught a glimpse of it, and I thought – how ugly!!! I haven’t even get the dress yet, so great was my distress…

Anyway, I don’t know how long I could hang on to my temper. Sooner or later it’s going to erupt, if she kept on pushing me. I hope when the time comes, I could behave rationally. It’s not my job to change her behavior; she’s old enough to know… besides, someday she’s going to get her just return. It’s the law of nature – what you give you get back… usually the prayer of ones that had been victimized is answered by Allah, insya Allah. I could just pray to Allah that I don’t become like that.

Sonnet 43 - How do I love thee? Let me count the ways - by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

2008-04-25T20:27:00.001+08:00

This poem is dedicated to my loved one, even though he doesn't know how I felt, I still think of him when I read this poem....

so here's to you sweetheart!

Sonnet 43 - How do I love thee? Let me count the ways - by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of everyday's

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints,—I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life!—and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

Slander??? Oh, no!!!

2008-04-22T15:30:00.001+08:00

“Sesungguhnya fitnah itu lebih dahsyat daripada membunuh!”

Slander – the word itself carried a weight of meaning. At this point of my life, I think I am more able to face it. And I did. I like to think of myself as someone is very forthright. So, when people talked behind my back, I was like – what? The first thing I did was analyze myself. I know I am not the most tactful person in the world, so when I was told that there was a group of people who were – or maybe still are, not satisfied with me, I thought, uh oh, what did I do wrong? But when I heard the full story – what one person said to another and I quote:

“Akak, kau sorg je kawan dengan dia. Kalu kau tak kawan dengan dia, takde org nak kawan dengan dia. Mesti dia takde kawan.”

Suddenly I felt like laughing my head off. What a childish thing to say. For her information, solitude is not exactly alien for me. I am a survivor. Put me anywhere civilized and I could survive. I still remember my first day in Matriculation UKM, I was the only one from my classmates to go there. But still I managed to survive, and flourished, as I like to fondly remember. I have never been comfortable with a group. I could be in the midst of a group and still feel lonely. My nature is to treasure my solitary moments. That is when I could think of the things that I have done, things that I am doing and things that I have to do in the future. Not to be too proud or a show off, but I managed to score perfect 4.00 during my first semester in matriculation. Not an easy feat, but maybe due to my hardworking nature, I managed to achieve it.

To me, being with a group of friends sometimes would distract me from my goal. So when a person, someone that I trusted, accused me of being too clingy to one friend, I was like – what the heck? So, here’s a toast to that backstabber – thank you for your insults. I will remember them for the rest of my breathing moments. Not to say that I hold grudges against you or anything, but you made me realize something – I should have never trusted easily someone that I had just known. So, once again, thank you for your condemnation and criticism, I wish you well for the future. Maybe, you should tell any person that you have any complaints the truth. Remember that Allah is always watching us…

Lastly, here’s a quote from the Quran:

“And ye will remember what I say unto you. I confide my cause unto Allah. Lo! Allah is Seer of His slaves. So Allah warded off from him the evils which they plotted, while a dreadful doom encompassed Pharaoh’s folk” - Surah Al Mu’min: 44,45

Thank you for the insults. I will try to improve myself, insya Allah.

review-definitely maybe

2008-04-14T20:46:00.003+08:00

it's a bit pathetic and sad to be watching a movie alone... watching movies is sth u do wif friends and maybe yr significant other. but that's what i did last sunday, i mean yesterday...

i watched definitely maybe on my own. and the movie was great. i enjoyed watching william hayes and his daughter! for romantics out there that loves happy ending, go watch the movie
hehehehe

i won't tell about the movie cos that would spoil it for you. suffice to see, i absolutely enjoyed the movie eventhough i watched it alone...

lastly, here's one quote from the movie - why do we have to be somebody? y can't we be nobody?

renung2kan...
dan selamat beramal...

Sampai syurga a.k.a until heaven…

2008-04-09T19:29:00.000+08:00

Sampai syurga

Ku membenarkan jiwaku utk mencintaimu
Ku persembahkan hidupku utk bersama kamu
Dan diriku utk kamu
Belum pernah kumerasai begitu…
Semua itu telah berlalu harapanku palsu…
Dan mungkin hari yg satu terus ku tertunggu…
Dan dihatiku masih kamu
Belum pernah ku masih ingin menunggu
Aku lemah tanpa kamu
Ku ingin mu dampingiku….
Aku fahami aku bukan terbaik utk dirimu
Sampai syurga ku menunggu
Sampai syurga kucintai

The lyrics are so beautiful. Unrequited love is very painful. That’s what I am facing now… I love him (is this feeling called love? I don’t know…) but he doesn’t reciprocate…

But I think the reason I met him was to open up my heart to love again… he made me believe that there are guys out there who are kind, and reliable… maybe he and I are not meant to be together and I have to accept the fact. But he will always reside in a special place in my heart as the one who had opened up my heart and eyes to LOVE…

Missing him,
Ani
IPTB
April 9, 2008
0600

My Life as a Trainee Teacher…

2008-04-08T16:08:00.000+08:00

Today, I finally got the chance to conduct a class. Even though not on my own (paired), I was nervous and excited at the same time. We were assigned to relieve classes that didn’t have teachers at that time…

I was feeling nervous at first, tinged with excitement. Would the students respond well to us? Would they behave?

To my surprise, I think I did a bit well today. The pupils loved the language games that we played and everyone had a good time, I hope. I knew that I did…

The heady excitement of my first time in the classroom as a teacher made me realized that I love teaching. I love imparting new knowledge to the pupils. The light in their eyes when they discover new knowledge – now that is something money can’t buy… I hope that I would feel this passion for the rest of my career, Insya Allah!

Optimistic,

WR

IPTB

April 8, 2008

1618

ATTITUDE

2008-04-06T06:50:00.000+08:00

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other
people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is
that we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we embrace for that day. We cannot change our past, we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the string we have, and that is our attitude. I’m convinced that life is 10 percent that happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it. And so it is with you . . . we are in charge of our attitude.
— Charles Swindol

My ex-boss gave me this quote at a time when I really needed it. Thanks En Ahmad! I was on the verge of tending my resignation letter when he sent me this quote. I had issues with my supervisor, and the only way out of that problem for me at that time is quitting. But, after having my discussion with En Ahmad, I decided that quitting means I am giving up. And the word give up was not something that I would like to associate with myself…

I tried to be patient after that and I think that the quote helped me a bit. Facing challenges had made me the person that I am today… not easily angered anymore (I hope!), more mature, more open, and maybe I have become a bit cynical…

I used see the world through rose-tinted eyes. To me, everyone is kind and nice. But after meeting some very weird people and sometimes very black-hearted ones, I realized that not everyone is kind and positive. I was very disappointed… I thought that we are supposed to be positive…

Anyway, I didn’t care anymore what people want to say behind my back. If they weren’t such cowards, I’d thank them… because they made me realized that I shouldn’t trust everyone… damn it! It’s like I had lost my naïve and innocent self…
I am going to miss the old me. But I would try to be more careful in the future and not trust anybody I just recently met… I should be more careful… guard my heart against this so-called nice friends! In front of me they are very sweet-mouthed, but behind? What a hypocrite lots! I hope you all change, because you know that defamation is a worst sin than killing! Once again, thank you for the critism. But before you criticize others, maybe you should reflect on yourself… are you perfect???

Wan Rohani binti Wan Harun
IPTB
0707
6 April 2008

poem - the world is a beautiful place

2008-04-05T13:17:00.001+08:00

The World Is a Beautiful Place by Lawrence Ferlinghetti
The world is a beautiful placeto be born into
if you don't mind happiness
not always being
so very much fun
if you don't mind a touch of hell
now and then
just when everything is fine
because even in heaven
they don't sing
all the time

The world is a beautiful place
to be born into
if you don't mind some people dying
all the timeor maybe only starving
some of the timewhich isn't half bad
if it isn't you
Oh the world is a beautiful placeto be born into
if you don't much minda few dead minds
in the higher placesor a bomb or two
now and thenin your up
turned facesor such other improprieties
as our Name Brand society
is prey towith its men of distinction
and its men of extinction
and its priests
and other patrolmen
and its various segregations
and congressional investigations
and other constipations
that our fool flesh
is heir to
Yes the world is the best place of all
for a lot of such things as making the fun scene
and making the love scene
and making the sad scene
and singing low songs and having inspirations
and walking around
looking at everything
and smelling flowers
and goosing statues
and even thinking
and kissing people and
making babies and wearing pants
and waving hats and
dancing
and going swimming in rivers
on picnics
in the middle of the summer
and just generally'living it up' Yes
but then right in the middle of it
comes the smiling mortician